It seems as though every country is currently exiting Corona lockdown in some form or another. For Europe and the US this has come in the nick of time for the annual beach binge with June marking the beginning of summer.
Huge bets have been staked on exit directives holding up and people acting responsibly. 'Social distancing has to be maintained' is the new battle cry for 21st Century leaders and their beleaguered law enforcers. Have they seen how packed some of these beaches have gotten?
Mind you, the strategy might work, after all who wants to get too close to sweaty, dripping, half baked sun worshipers on the New Jersey board walk.
Our leaders are clearly frayed and fatigued from the lockdown stage of the battle against Covid-19 but they would do well to pace themselves as the next phase of the war could prove even more challenging. First they have to successfully reopen without a second wave of the pandemic and, talking about waves, they need to get football back on tap. Yep, we need footie like we dream of an ice cold Corona. And let's face it, leaders need to find some popular(ist) stuff to help their depressed and weary citizens find joy and fun and all things Dom in the spirit of holiday entertainment (not).
But, enough of us citizens. How are our dear, loving leaders faring? I mean, why care about ourselves when we should be concerned about them? Like a puppy dog excitedly chasing a toilet roll after it's somewhat benevolent owner.
It seems as though world leaders wellbeing falls into one of two camps. They're either female, full of love and compassion and generally in the glow and doing quite well or their male, a bit petulant, slow in and perhaps a little rapido pulling out so mostly red faced with frustration. What's new?
If we were to paint a stark, simplistic picture of leadership types in modern virus warfare you would have to say that women seem to come out on top. And tippy top of the 'Hottest Tackler of Corona 2020' has to be New Zealand, Taiwan and Germany - all led by women.
Currently bottom of the rankings sit the USA, Brazil, Russia and the UK all run by men. And, perhaps I should add, a certain kind of man, or is it two in the UK. The kind of man who perhaps enjoys their own company more than others, that find the image of themselves in the mirror more compelling than Mona Lisa or Madonna or Kim just not Kim Yong Ding Dong. Leaders that need golf and shooting and photoshopped jogging pants so long as it's all in the name of good photo ops.
They have children, sometimes on purpose and mostly after a bender, which is why they can't seem to remember where they've all gotten to, so they embrace their citizens like long lost children presumably because it's easier than tracking down the real ones. They're the master of the mass hug. You know like Joaquin Pheonix in Gladiator or the slightly confused kid in the horror film that accidentally squished the puppy he so lovingly cradled. Hopefully not the same one chasing the toilet roll.
When our macho leaders kids, er citizens, get caught misbehaving they're bounced off to boarding school or Coventry or fruit picking duties because apparently no one else will do it. They sack ministers as fast as Astra Zeneca presells futures on vaccines, unless, of course, you're Bozzer for Dom like ‘Russia with Love’. They take question time like a three year old takes a telling off - not particularly well.
And when it all comes crashing down - which inevitably it does and their self narrated satire comes to an end - they'll want us to love them even more and will not understand (with a stamping foot) why we might not want them around anymore. Like that mirror in Dorian Grey; why, oh why, do we smash them away.
Mind you there might be another way. There might be an exit plan for these poor overworked neo-bunnies. There could be a way through this Corona mess. They just need to get that gender transitioning operation and come back as Jacinda Ardern.
In the meantime I'll dream of New Zealand. More Jacinda with Love than Russia with Love.
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